The Proposal

My maternal uncle Nanu was a simpleton from village. He was my mother's second cousin but was very close to my grandmother. Nanu was gentle and kind hearted and had great empathy towards all alike; however, he had an annoying habit of being a know-it-all once he heard about any topic, even with partial or little knowledge of it. During the early nineties, ours was the only house in the village with a small television. Nanu used to spend the afternoons trying to catch the news or listen to a film song. Once during the cricket World Cup, he saw a batsman being given leg before wicket. Puzzled, he asked me ( in Bengali), " Nilu, eita ki holo?" ( which when translated meant- what happened). I told him that this mode of dismissal was LBW which impressed him mightily.

Post that knowledge breakthrough, Nanu used it in all the village matches whenever he was bowling; calling each impacted delivery on the batsman as "LPW" and getting into arguments with anyone who would try to challenge him.

As soon as he approached his 25th birthday, he started pestering everyone in the family to get him married. Marriages in the village were primarily arranged with the prospective groom preparing a list of questions to ask the prospective bride which was then followed by other commercial discussions.

Most of Nanu's interactions were over in the first phase with the list of questions being so difficult for the girl to even attempt. One afternoon, after one such incident when he returned with my grandmother, mother and other family members, having humiliated another girl with his questions, I was curious, " Mamu, what did u ask?"

He twirled his imaginary moustache with pride and gave a triumphant smirk, "How many seconds are there in an hour? And she replied 60..... "

My grandmother and other family members fumed in the corner at having witnessed another wasted opportunity.